I know I have been very lucky with the contact I have had after I was adopted as I t has been super open, however I know this isn’t the case for everyone. My mums have always thought it has been best for me to know everything they know about my story and my life, and it never crossed their mind to keep it hidden. They have always seen the letters as my letters, not theirs, and my way to keep in touch with family.
Its been helpful for me as I have known the basics of what happened to me and never felt disconnected from my birth family because letterbox kept me up to date with their life. I know they still love me, and have never stopped loving me, which has always meant a lot.
Also its been helpful for my birth family who have been able to see I am doing okay and they have been able to keep up with me and my life. As I grow up and hit milestones, they dont miss out on them as much as they might have done if there was not contact. This has been vital when I met my grandparents, as it felt like we had only seen each other the week before, all because we had only written one letter each year in October. The same with my mum, who before meeting her there had only been two letters from her, yet it felt like we had never been apart.
The fact my letter box social worker has always been open and willing to look into anything has been very helpful. If me and my mums had queries about anything she would respond quickly with the best answer possible and allowing us to arrange a meeting with my mum. They also tried to make it as easy as possible with the potential future meeting of my older sister by offering to meet with her beforehand, so she felt more reassured and comfortable.
Keeping in touch with other people from my life before adoption has been good. I am still in close contact with my foster parents as they are so important to me and like parents. They were there in such a key parts of my life, so great memories are not lost. We text sometimes to see how each other are and try and meet often, despite recent health issues. Also as a family we have kept in touch with my original social worker who was also the match maker, which has been great with the stories she has, and a great connection to have.
Overall to me it just feels like a massive family made up of lots of different parts and a lot of love. There are so many memories that still finding out about and will carry on finding about for a long time. I am thankful that it has always been open and up to me, that way it goes within reason.
T – Age 17